Divorce is a difficult situation for every member of a family. Children of divorced parents must deal with many adjustments in their lives. For instance, a child may have to move to a different home or attend a different school in order to live with a particular parent. In short, major changes take place in the life of a child whose parents get divorced.
Trying to understand divorce is a frustrating thing for many children. A divorce may take place if a married couple grows apart or just can’t seem to solve their differences. Most children whose parents get divorced start off with a lot of questions. For example, a child may be under the impression that he or she is somehow to blame for the breakup. A child may also wonder if anything can be done to bring his or her parents back together. It’s very important for children to share these questions and feelings with their parents. Whether parents are married or divorced, they are still concerned with their children’s well-being.
Its Not Your Fault
So many times a child blames him or herself for the parents’ breakup. Many children may think that if they performed better in school or behaved better at home, their parents wouldn’t have gotten divorced. Children must always remember that they are not to blame for their parents’ divorce. Parents get divorced for reasons that involve one another and not the children. Any child who blames him or herself for a divorce should certainly share those feelings with both mom and dad.
Impact on School and Grades
Not surprisingly, it’s hard for a child to focus on schoolwork and grades when his or her family is dealing with a divorce. It’s helpful for children coping with divorce to talk their feelings over with their parents, a close friend, or perhaps a counselor or a teacher. Letting a teacher know about the situation may help them to understand why a student’s grades are slipping. In fact, support and encouragement offered by teachers may go a long way to help a child through a tough time.
Divorce can affect a child’s relationships with brothers and sisters. After all, everyone reacts to divorce in his or her own way. For example, one brother may feel angry and frustrated over the situation. Alternatively, a sister may want to talk about the divorce with her siblings and ask a lot of questions. In many cases, arguments occur between siblings who are coping with a divorce situation.
When a child’s parents get divorced, he or she has to readjust to a new life. A child may be angry with one parent and blame him or her for the situation. A parent may have to move away causing a child to feel insecure. A young person must keep in mind that everyone is readjusting to the new situation. Furthermore, it’s essential for children to remember that they are still loved, just as much as ever, by their parents.
Adjusting to A New Home
New living conditions are generally a part of divorce. Whether it’s a child moving to a new place or visiting a parent in a new home, there are definite changes. A child can do a few simple things to feel at home in the places of both parents. For instance, keeping some personal items such as books, stuffed animals, or CDs in both places will help make the atmosphere more comfortable.
Adjusting To Splitting Time With Parents
A divorce sometimes means that a child spends a certain amount of time living in the houses of both parents. For example, a child could spend a few weeks of winter vacation with one parent and the remainder of the school year with the other. In order to adjust to this division of time, a child might want to plan fun activities to share with each parent. Ultimately, children must remember to focus on making the most of their time with each parent.
Naturally, most children have many questions when it comes to divorce. A child may want to discuss the situation with a close friend whose parents who are divorced. The friend might have some helpful insights to share. A school counselor can also help answer a child’s questions about divorce or just be there to listen. It’s very important for children whose parents are getting a divorce to talk about the things that are troubling them. Children should never be embarrassed about seeking help whenever they need it.